How To Bring The Spark Back Into Your Relationship

How To Get The Spark Back Into Your Relationship

Have you lost the spark in your relationship? Are you looking at your partner in a different light than you did in the beginning? Are things getting a little boring?

If you answered ‘yes’, then read on.

As a Marriage and Family Therapist for almost 30 years, I see trends in my office all the time. It is very common for couples to complain about their relationship falling into a “rut” and for couples to say the passion is gone.

There are things you can do.

You have the power to change yourself. You do not have the power to change your partner. I know you wish you could change your partner, but I assure you that you cannot.  Here are a couple of tips to bring back the spark you had in the beginning of the relationship.

Tip #1. Act the same way you did in the beginning of your relationship.

What are some of the things YOU did in the beginning of the relationship that enhanced the relationship that you no longer do? Did you used to send sweet/sexy texts? Did you used to make a point to look/smell good? Did you used to point out the wonderful things your partner did as opposed to point out the bad things your partner was doing? Were you more playful? Did you make an effort to make plans with your partner?

Think about it. Maybe things are different because YOU are acting differently. Your partner may be acting differently, but remember, you cannot change your partner. You can only change yourself.

Tip #2. Plan date nights/surprises.

I cannot emphasize how important a regular date night is to keep the passion going in a relationship. I understand it is not always easy because you may have children, careers, aging parents and other responsibilities, but it is worth it and essential to a healthy relationship. It can be anything from the typical dinner and a movie to simply going for a long walk together or reading a book to each other a couple of times a month. Uninterrupted time and quality time can do so much to enhance the passion in a relationship. It can remind you of why you fell in love with your partner.

You deserve a healthy and fun relationship and so does your partner.

Are you trying to get the spark back in your relationship and feel like it may be beneficial to get some support?

Call me, let’s chat.

Laurie Shoats L.M.F.T. (Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist)


Real Life Solutions Counseling, Inc