Blog-Who Controls Who? – Real Life Solutions Counseling, Inc.
Who Controls Who? ~Are you Reactive or are you Proactive?
“It’s not my fault! You made me mad! I had no choice!”
Have you ever heard those words or even said those words?
A person who says those words is ‘reacting’ to another person. You are giving up control to another person if you are being reactive. Being proactive is being able to ‘take control’ and not having someone else be in charge of you.
It goes without say that being in control, being proactive, is a much healthier way to be. A person with a high level of insight and emotional stability has an easier time being proactive vs. reactive.
You would never consciously give away your power/control to respond, but that is exactly what is happening when you blame another person for your reaction.
Being proactive is the ability to remain calm, cool and collected in a heated discussion and recognizing the benefits of thinking clearly. A proactive person is also the person who recognizes when it is time to walk away from a heated discussion to allow both parties time to cool off.
There are ways to become more proactive if you have a tendency to be reactive. There are also techniques you can use to respond to a reactive person to help them regain self control.
Could you benefit from learning a supportive technique to assist your loved one in regaining self control? Or could you use support to become more proactive and less reactive?
Call me, let’s chat.
Laurie Shoats M.S., L.M.F.T. (Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist)
Real Life Solutions Counseling, Inc.