5 Essential Communication Tips for Couples
Communication is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship. Without effective communication, you’re opening yourself up to misinterpretation, negative assumptions, and potential disagreements.
People have different communication styles, and that’s okay! But, it’s important to work with your partner to find what fits best for your relationship. Being able to find that communicative balance with each other will make all the difference. It will improve intimacy, create a more trustworthy environment, and it’s likely to reduce the number of disagreements you have.
If you struggle with communication, it might seem easier said than done to improve it within your relationship. Thankfully, there are things you can do to boost your communication skills with your partner (and vice versa). Let’s cover a few tips that can help.
1. Be an Active Listener
Communication is a two-way street. Everyone wants to be heard—including your partner. Effective communication is about more than just hearing what your partner has to say. It’s about really listening.
Active listening means paying attention, not letting distractions get in the way, focusing on what your partner is saying rather than thinking of your response, and showing your partner that you hear and understand what they’re saying. Use verbal and nonverbal cues to respond, make eye contact, ask questions, and show them the respect they deserve while they’re sharing.
2. Choose the Best Time
If you and your partner have something important to discuss, don’t do it when you’re walking out the door for work.
Timing is important when it comes to effective communication. By setting aside time to talk, you’re showing that you respect the relationship and want to focus solely on a certain topic.
3. Use “I” Statements
Even if you’re not necessarily arguing with your partner, telling them how you feel by playing the blame game is never a good idea. It can cause your partner to become defensive or feel like they’ve done something wrong.
Instead, focus on using “I” statements to share how you feel. Whether you have something positive or negative to say, how you approach the statement can make a big difference in how it is received and perceived. Your partner doesn’t want to hurt you. So, by using “I” statements, they’ll be more inclined to listen and make changes, if necessary.
4. Show Empathy
Empathy is hugely important in relationships. You might not always agree with everything your partner says or does, but you should at least try to understand it. Try to look at things from their perspective while remembering you’re on the same team.
If you have trouble walking in their shoes, talk to them about it. Ask open-ended questions to help you understand their point of view. Empathy can go a long way in bringing you closer and helping you understand each other.
5. Lead With Respect
Whether things are going extremely well or you’re in the middle of a disagreement, one of the most important aspects of communication in a relationship is respect.
It’s so easy to want to hit below the belt or say things you know will hurt feelings when you’re arguing or feeling hurt, yourself. That will only cause tension and discord in your relationship.
Choose to be respectful, no matter what. When you lead with respect in every conversation, your partner is likely to do the same for you.
Again, healthy communication can seem easier said than done if you’re caught in a pattern or feel like things can’t change within your relationship. Put these tips into practice to change some of those habits. Please don’t hesitate to reach out for extra help or more support if you find that your communication efforts are still struggling.
