How Much Sex Is Healthy for Couples? Debunking the Myths

Sex might not be the most important part of a healthy relationship, but it’s certainly part of it. Physical intimacy can bring you and your partner closer together, and it’s a fantastic way to build trust and vulnerability while feeling good and having fun with each other.

But how often should you actually be having sex?

Chances are you’ve heard everything from every day or every week to once or twice a month. You might know other couples who claim to have sex more frequently (or less frequently) and you’re beginning to wonder how much sex is actually healthy for couples?

Let’s debunk a few myths associated with this topic, so you can focus on what’s right for your relationship.

How Often Should You Be Having Sex?

This might seem like the million dollar question for healthy couples, but it really shouldn’t be. There is no “magic number” for how often you should have sex. While once a week might be considered a baseline number, that doesn’t mean it has to be the case for you if it doesn’t fit your needs, wants, or circumstances.

What matters more than frequency is fulfillment. Are both you and your partner happy and comfortable with your current sex life? How do you feel about the intimacy in your relationship? If you can both say that you’re fulfilled in those areas, chances are you’re having sex at a frequency that works for you.

Communication is the key to a healthy sex life. While it might seem a bit awkward to talk about it, at first, expressing your needs and wants is a great way to ensure that fulfillment remains. It can also help you make changes to your sex life if needed.

Myth: More Is Better

It’s okay to want to try something new with your sex life, including having it more often. But don’t fall victim to the idea that having more sex means your sex life will be better.

There are benefits that come with regular sex, but if you’re already content, committing to more frequent intercourse could do more harm than good. It could cause stress, put pressure on one or both partners, and take some of the spontaneity and enjoyment out of the experience.

Focus on the quality of your sexual experience, rather than the quantity.

Myth: Men Need Sex More Often

Everyone has a different sex drive. While studies have shown that men’s drives are often higher, it doesn’t mean that they “need” sex more often than their partner, and it’s not something that should be used as a bargaining chip in a relationship.

Again, this is why open communication is so important. Individual needs vary, and you and your partner can only find fulfillment when those needs are expressed and addressed.

Myth: Scheduling Sex Is Unhealthy

There’s no denying that we live in a busy, stressful world. If you’re reading this, you might be wondering how much sex is healthy for couples because you’re not having it as often as you’d like.

If that’s the case, have you considered scheduling sex? On the surface, it might not seem very romantic, but think a bit deeper. Planning or scheduling sex with your partner lets you both know that it’s a priority. You’re making time and space for it so you can be fully present and engaged. What’s more romantic than that? So, if scheduling sex is the only way you can both find fulfillment in your sex life, there is absolutely nothing wrong with it.

 

Unfortunately, there are countless myths associated with what a healthy sex life looks like. Again, focus on quality over quantity, and make sure you’re talking to your partner often about your needs and wants. If you’re still struggling to find the balance of a healthy sex life, don’t feel like you have to figure it out on your own. Contact me for more information or to set up an appointment soon.