COUPLES THERAPY

Has Your Relationship Fallen On Hard Times?

Are you in a committed relationship that’s hit some bumps in the road?

Do you and your partner struggle to productively resolve conflict without arguing or freezing each other out?

Or have you begun to blame your partner for your unhappiness?

There’s no mistaking the pit in your stomach when things between you and your partner have become tense. Perhaps you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around each other to avoid another argument from erupting.

Or maybe the conversations you have never seem to address underlying issues, such as broken trust, unresolved trauma, or emotional wounds that haven’t healed. Without a partner who has your back, you feel alone and helpless.

You May Feel Helpless And Stuck

If you’re stressed out about the state of your relationship, it can bleed into all aspects of your life, affecting your sleep, appetite, and mental focus. You might feel resentful or critical of your partner and purposely sabotage any positive moments between you or, conversely, bend over backward to appease them, putting their needs in front of your own. Either way, you may feel emotionally drained and hopeless about the future.

Sadly, you may fear your relationship is beyond repair and that your only option is to break up. However, couples therapy offers a neutral space to share your thoughts and feelings with an experienced marriage counselor. With helpful guidance and curiosity, counseling can help you better understand the dynamics of your relationship and discover tools to improve communication and connection.

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Relationships Take Work To Blossom And Grow

When we reach adulthood, our romantic partnerships represent the love, connection, and intimacy that sustain us for the rest of our lives. As vital as this relationship is in providing us security and emotional fulfillment, ultimately it is made up of two imperfect people, each with their own unhealed wounds. No wonder so many of us struggle to be good partners to each other.

Because our experience is so subjective, it’s difficult for us to acknowledge our role in the dysfunction that often ensues. Most of the time, all we have to work with are the survival skills we developed in childhood or what we witnessed from our caretakers. However, when we try to apply these dynamics to our adult relationships, we often miss the mark, which can lead to miscommunication, hurt feelings, and conflict.

We Want To Improve Our Relationship But Don’t Know How

Many of us turn to social media for help, hoping that if we click on a “How to Save Your Relationship” clip, we’ll get all the answers. However, these quick fixes rarely accomplish much more than making us feel that we’ve failed.

The support we hope to receive from family is often limited or comes up short because those in your life don’t always know how to encourage you properly. Unfortunately, no one gives a handbook on how to have a healthy relationship. It’s up to us to figure out how to do better and find the solutions that work for us.

Thankfully, couples counseling can be tailored to address whatever you need to work on, whether you require premarital guidance, same-sex or LGBTQIA+ therapy, or would like to deepen emotional intimacy.

Couples Therapy Provides A Safe Space To Repair Your Relationship

Over the years, many clients have shared with me that one of their biggest frustrations is they don’t have anyone they can be fully transparent with other than their partner. So, when their relationship is in trouble, they lose the ability to confide in someone which causes further isolation and anxiety. That’s why it’s so important to find a couples therapist you can build rapport with and know you can trust.

Having successfully worked with couples for close to 40 years, I offer real-life experience coupled with an eclectic blend of effective modalities. In couples therapy, my goal is to help you decide on the next steps while providing neutral, unbiased support, practical skills, and expert guidance.

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What To Expect In Sessions

Because every couple faces their own unique issues, I never take a cookie-cutter approach to counseling. My goal is for you to feel more hopeful and know that you’ve found an impartial professional who can help you gain clarity and develop a plan. Most of my clients report experiencing improvement after the first one or two sessions.

Based on your preferences and the issues that arise, therapy will include both individual and couples sessions. This way, you can maintain confidentially while addressing any unhealed trauma or shame that impacts the relationship.

In addition to providing practical tools to strengthen emotional and physical intimacy, we can delve into unhealthy habits that may have formed early on in the relationship. You will learn how to “fight fairly,” enabling you to agree to disagree as well as discuss difficult topics safely. By practicing healthy communication skills that emphasize active listening versus waiting to respond, not only will couples therapy offer ways to resolve conflict but also ensure that each of you feels heard and respected.

Couples Counseling Will Be Tailored To Meet Your Needs

Utilizing a blend of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for couples, neural-linguistic programming, and the teachings of Eckhart Tolle, you’ll practice metacognition, becoming more aware of how your thoughts and the language you choose to express yourself influence your emotions and behaviors. Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) will help foster empathy so you can see things from the other’s perspective and more clearly gain awareness of any emotional triggers that need healing.

Additionally, we may incorporate other approaches into couples therapy that resonate with you, such as meditation, mindfulness, Internal Family Systems (IFS), narrative therapy, the five love languages, and solution-focused brief therapy. No matter what issues you face, I can provide you with the practical tools you need to find solutions.

Relationships take work but if you have a shared desire to get your relationship working again, couples therapy provides effective tools to deepen your bond. With tailored counseling, you can nurture more safety, security, and trust in your relationship.

But Maybe You’re Not Sure If Couples Therapy Is Right For You…

Although we think we’d benefit from marriage counseling, we doubt we can afford it.

The cost of couples therapy is a legitimate concern, especially given today’s high cost of living. However, when you consider the alternative is separation and divorce, marriage therapy is a far more cost-effective option in the long run. What’s more, you can’t put a price on the emotional benefit for you and your children when you can avoid splitting up and restoring your relationship. If you have concerns about the cost of marriage counseling, I offer some discounted packages, including for veterans.

We tried couples counseling before and had a bad experience with the therapist.

For couples therapy to be successful, both of you must feel comfortable with the counselor you choose to work with. To ensure a positive outcome, your marriage therapist should remain impartial, judgment-free, and supportive of your relationship. With my extensive experience working with couples and families, I aim to put you at ease in therapy right from the start. Before getting started with marital counseling, I offer a free 15-minute consultation to ensure we are a good fit. And even if only one of you is willing to attend sessions or you seek discernment therapy to determine whether or not you want to salvage your marriage, we can still work together.

How long does couples counseling usually take?

Although the length and frequency of marital counseling will vary based on your concerns and goals, I usually recommend couples commit to attending weekly sessions for a minimum of three months. This is usually enough time to determine whether you’re making significant changes in therapy that benefit the relationship.

Let’s Bridge The Divide Together

If you’re ready to get your relationship back on track, I’m here to help. To schedule a free 15-minute consultation to find out more about online couples therapy with me, please call (954) 802-1601 or visit my contact page.

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